1.09 Hard Bargain

Summary and spoilers

A bespectacled bureaucrat is sent to broker a possible re-evaluation of Michael’s Burn Notice. After being carefully vetted, Michael believes him to be the real thing. But the paper pusher is actually a paid anonymous assassin, and when Michael drops his guard and starts wishful thinking, he almost gets strangled.

In the meantime, Michael is trying to make some money slash help someone out by rescuing the kidnapped fiancée of a mansion-sitter. Michael kidnaps one of the kidnappers, then poses as a hostage negotiator to buy some time while he, Sam, and Fiona can find out the location of the hostage. To further this aim, Fiona poses as a rich kidnap-worthy wife, and Sam as her disgruntled bodyguard. Sam strikes a deal with the kidnapper to help bag the wife in return for finding out where the hostage is being held. Then it’s time for Michael to go all MacGyver with explosives and the like, which Sam and Fiona use to free the hostage.

It’s also Fiona’s birthday, and despite all the other events happening, Michael remembers, and gets her the perfect gift; a gun.

Burn Notice Quotes

"I was vague. I said I was a freelance superhero Robin Hood sort of guy."
- Sam

Michael: No shopping, Fi. You got eyes on Nick?
Fiona: Yes, all the way from the escalators to that charming little lingerie store – they have a fabulous little teddy in there – make a great gift.
Michael: I’ve never seen you wear anything but men’s shirts to bed.
Fiona: Fair enough. There’s a men’s store on the third floor. Nice selection – the ones with the big buttons are easier to undo.

Michael: Say we let you go, and give this photo to your boss…along with the cooperating witness statement you’re about to give to the FBI.
Lucio: No, no, no, I never made no statement.
Michael: [holds up forged blank statement form] Here’s the form. Looks real, huh. We’ll fill it out, sign it on your behalf. Sam’s pretty good with the computer.
Sam: Oh, thanks, Mike, it’s just Photoshop.

Reyes: I take 20 percent of my price – I give you 20 percent of the girl.
Michael: Hostage negotiators hear that one a lot – it’s funny the first few times.

"I wanted my burn notice resolved…talked myself into denying my instincts. That’s nothing to be proud of."
- Michael

Michael: I talked to him [Nick] about you – about what I should get you for your birthday.
Fiona: A Makarov.
Michael: He said you would like it.