1.09 Hard Bargain

Summary and spoilers

A bespectacled bureaucrat is sent to broker a possible re-evaluation of Michael’s Burn Notice. After being carefully vetted, Michael believes him to be the real thing. But the paper pusher is actually a paid anonymous assassin, and when Michael drops his guard and starts wishful thinking, he almost gets strangled.

In the meantime, Michael is trying to make some money slash help someone out by rescuing the kidnapped fiancée of a mansion-sitter. Michael kidnaps one of the kidnappers, then poses as a hostage negotiator to buy some time while he, Sam, and Fiona can find out the location of the hostage. To further this aim, Fiona poses as a rich kidnap-worthy wife, and Sam as her disgruntled bodyguard. Sam strikes a deal with the kidnapper to help bag the wife in return for finding out where the hostage is being held. Then it’s time for Michael to go all MacGyver with explosives and the like, which Sam and Fiona use to free the hostage.

It’s also Fiona’s birthday, and despite all the other events happening, Michael remembers, and gets her the perfect gift; a gun.

Burn Notice Quotes

"I was vague. I said I was a freelance superhero Robin Hood sort of guy."
- Sam

Michael: No shopping, Fi. You got eyes on Nick?
Fiona: Yes, all the way from the escalators to that charming little lingerie store – they have a fabulous little teddy in there – make a great gift.
Michael: I’ve never seen you wear anything but men’s shirts to bed.
Fiona: Fair enough. There’s a men’s store on the third floor. Nice selection – the ones with the big buttons are easier to undo.

Michael: Say we let you go, and give this photo to your boss…along with the cooperating witness statement you’re about to give to the FBI.
Lucio: No, no, no, I never made no statement.
Michael: [holds up forged blank statement form] Here’s the form. Looks real, huh. We’ll fill it out, sign it on your behalf. Sam’s pretty good with the computer.
Sam: Oh, thanks, Mike, it’s just Photoshop.

Reyes: I take 20 percent of my price – I give you 20 percent of the girl.
Michael: Hostage negotiators hear that one a lot – it’s funny the first few times.

"I wanted my burn notice resolved…talked myself into denying my instincts. That’s nothing to be proud of."
- Michael

Michael: I talked to him [Nick] about you – about what I should get you for your birthday.
Fiona: A Makarov.
Michael: He said you would like it.

1.08 Wanted Man

Summary and spoilers

In the last episode, Michael and Fiona spent the night together. Now Fiona wants the relationship to become something more than a friendly one night stand. When Michael starts spending more time with his big dossier and not enough time paying attention to her, Fiona conveniently takes Tom, a handsome young fugitive, under her wing. Fiona enlists Michael to clear Tom of a charge of stealing a two million dollar broach. To do so, Michael must pose as a buyer and get the real thief to bring the broach out into the open, then get the police involved. It all backfires when the mark discovers that he is being conned.

To further his burn notice investigation, Michael makes a deal with Libyans agents to provide some intelligence in exchange for the Libyans naming Phillip Cowan (the NSA agent that either burned Michael or has information on who did) as a friend – while they are being eavesdropped. It certainly gets Phillip’s attention – Michael can expect to be hearing from him soon, and it may not be a pleasant visit.

Burn Notice Quotes

Barry: Name’s Christo – like Madonna, with the whole one name thing.
Sam: Like Charo -
Barry: Sting
Sam: Fergie
Barry: Pele
Sam: Spiderman
Barry: Liberace
Sam: [pauses] Crap, I can’t think of any more.

"Oh, and by the way, I should mention I went through your fridge when you were out. Do you know actually it’s one of the most frequently used hiding places? [holds up diamond bracelet] Found this in the orange sherbet. I assume you’re holding it for someone. I’ll keep it until our job is finished. Until then, you keep your mouth shut about our little chat."
- Michael (to Christo the Fence)

Sam: Mixing romance and work is a bad idea. Veronica, just the other day, she asked me if bullets came in different sizes. Isn’t that the cutest thing you’ve ever heard?
Michael: That is so adorable.

1.07 Broken Rules

Summary and spoilers

With Agent Bly ramping up the harassment by threatening to arrest Fiona, Michael needs money to fund the battle. His client is Ernie Paseo, a shop owner who is handing over daily protection money to two hoods who work for a woman boss. For 20 thousand dollars, Michael assumes the role of a crazy hood. He tries to scare the mob away, but instead ends up working for Concha, the woman boss. Concha’s first assignment for Michael is to kill Ernie - and his family. Michael manages to avoid this assignment and instead turns Concha’s lieutenant into her assassin.

Meanwhile, under threat of more harassment of his family and friends, Michael accepts Bly’s offer to take a job as a security guard. Michael has other plans, however; unknown to Bly, he sets up a joint Bly/Weston offshore business and deposits large sums of money over and over. Combining that with other incriminating evidence of their friendship, Michael makes it look like Bly is on the take. To keep this a secret, he requests that Bly get and show him his burn notice dossier. Then, just to finalize things, he drives off in Bly new red Mustang convertible!

Comments

There are a limited number of times that Fiona is going to accept "Can we talk about this later" as Michael’s response to discussing their relationship.

In this episode and the last, the split screen is used occasionally to spice up chase sequences.

Burn Notice Quotes

Fiona: You know, you have always had a problem with my work. I have always supported you!
Michael: I’m helping people! You’re running guns! Big difference!

Michael: I’ll see what I can do.
Ernie: No! Don’t ‘I’ll see what I can do’. Do it. It’s the last chance we got.

Michael: Here you go, Sam. [gives some money to Sam] Buy your girlfriend some flowers.
Sam: Oh, Mike, it’s gonna take more than flowers.
[Michael gives more money]
Sam: I mean, she’s pretty pissed. This Bly was rude, I mean really rude.
[Michael gives more money]
Sam: She’s feelin’ a little better now.
[Michael gives more money]
Sam: Okay, perfect, thank you. I’ll get the check.

"This neighborhood is mine! You hear me? My neighborhood! My neighborhood! This neighborhood is MINE!"
- Michael

1.06 Unpaid Debts

Summary and spoilers

Michael’s previous forays into finding out why he was burned has attracted the attention of a new surveillance team. These guys don’t just sit back and observe: they harass, or at least they will harass until Michael stops poking around for information. They trash him mom’s house, tow away his car, and destroy his home phone. Michael needs to keep being a pest so that this new guy stays around long enough to give some clues to who did the burn. So, Michael retaliates by jamming their bugging devices and planting a big magnet in the guy’s desk, wiping out his notebook.

Trouble is multiplying for Michael. Not only does he have to deal with this new surveillance, but when he takes a job to repo a boat, he ends up between gun-wielding Jamaican smugglers and mean corrupt cops. Somehow, he manages to get out of all jams, and he even keeps a little bit of that 10 million dollars for himself and Sam. But more importantly, he gets the name of the guy who has been harassing him.

Comments

This is a rougher, meaner Burn Notice. It doesn’t really work as well; it’s stretching plausibility that Michael did not get shot by someone during that last meeting where he was threatening to burn the money.

Burn Notice Quotes

"Sometimes intelligence gathering involves sophisticated techniques and a lot of high-tech equipment. But sometimes, it’s as simple as picking someone’s pocket."
- Michael

1.05 Family Business

Summary and spoilers

Nate takes on a thousand dollar job that entails ‘talking to some guys’ and immediately gets beaten to a pulp with a tooth knocked out to top it all off. He calls handy brother Michael, of course, to help him out. Michael agrees, as long as Nate promises to ‘clean up his act’, whatever that means. The client is Jake Miller, an airport security employee who became chummy with the Zamars, a Lebanese importer/exporter family that lent him money and gave him stuff in exchange for changing a few logs. When the Zamars ask him to remove a flight from the log entirely, Jake refused. The result was a visit to his home from the Zamars, and heavy-handed threats. Attempting to protect himself and his pregnant wife, Jake appeals to Nate, and now to Michael. Michael agrees to help, but he isn’t thrilled when Fiona’s spy sweep of the hanger reveals that the Zamars are arms dealers.

Through research and bugging, the younger brother Ari is identified as the weakest link in the family. Posing as an arms dealer, Michael offers Ari a deal for some high-grade C4 explosive. When Michael gains Ari’s confidence and is taken blindfolded to see the arms warehouse, Sam follows and gets the warehouse location. Michael and Sam clean the place out, and the Zamars flee, rather than taking the chance that they are about to be arrested and/or exposed.

Fiona discovers that the Charger is bugged and assumes (as has Michael) that it was done by Sam. Fiona wants to break Sam’s kneecap, but Michael says he is happy to let the situation be as it is. At one point during a stakeout, Sam seems poised to admit to the bugging, but he is interrupted by the arrival of the Zamars. Eventually, Sam does admit to the obvious crime; in return, Michael lets him break into his apartment and deliver a confidential letter to the Feds. But the Feds have news of their own; they are off the case, to be replaced by someone even higher up to take over Michael-watching duties.

Meanwhile, Nate is trying to convince Michael that he should have been given dad’s Charger. A scan of their dad’s will reveals that the car was not mentioned. Madeline lied, telling Michael that his dad wanted him to have the car. Michael and Nate flip for it, and Nate loses.

Burn Notice Quotes

"I’ll give you the distributor cap if you agree we should find Dad’s will. Deal?"
- Nate to Michael

Sam: Mike, I save your ass at the warehouse – the least you could do is have some decent beer in the fridge.
Michael: Next time you plan on saving my ass, tell me before I go to the store.

Fiona: Admit it. You were tempted.
Michael: Not for a minute, Fi. If I need a beautiful woman to mess up my life, I could a lot better than Debbie.

1.04 Old Friends

Summary and spoilers

Michael has to fend off a Czech assassin while he tries to work with his irresponsible brother Nate to track down Jenna, an 18 year old girl who has run away from home – and her worried dad – to be with her flashy ‘modeling scout’ boyfriend. The boyfriend, Brendon Diggs, has actually recruited Jenna into the Wilhelm Brothers escort service, and getting her out is not going to be easy. The Wilhelms have big – and sick – plans for Jenna – she’s about to be sold into virtual sexual slavery in Saudi Arabia – although she thinks she’s going there to model. Michael has one day to rescue her and fulfill the promise he has made to her dad.

Comments

Now that Michael is burned, there is no one to protect him. That’s the reason that the Czech assassin gives for his appearance…but it isn’t completely true. A little too late, mystery men show up and eliminate the assassin. So someone is protecting Michael, and keeping him on ice in Miami while they decide what to do with him.

There aren’t too many male actors with a smile as infectious as the one that Jeffrey Donovan sports as he’s walking through the Wilhelm’s party.

Burn Notice has a brisk, immediate pace. It is also not without some emotional depth as well. The relationship between Michael and Nate feels genuine, and Jenna’s return home almost brought a couple of tears to this reviewer’s jaded eyes.

Burn Notice Quotes

Fiona: Every third guy in a bar will tell you he’s a modeling scout.
Sam: Hey, I’ve used worse line…and succeeded.

Sam: Listen, Mike, um, I understand you got a situation, but…so do I. I mean, I’m covering for you, but if I lose my pension, you’re gonna be changing my diapers when I’m 95 and drooling.
Michael: Sam, I would never let that happen. I’d smother you with a pillow first.

1.03 Fight or Flight

Summary and spoilers

Michael’s landlord, Oleg, promises 4 month’s free rent if Michael can find out why his best waitress hasn’t left her apartment in a week. Cara, the waitress, witnessed a Lexus owner beat a pizza delivery boy after a car accident. She contacted police with the licence number of the Lexus, and since then, scary guys have been coming around her work, and a dead rat was nailed to her door. She and her daughter Sophie are afraid to leave the apartment.

Meanwhile, Michael infiltrates a conference and gets the name of a delegate whom he believes will have information on who burned him. Michael needs Fiona’s help for this; in exchange, he agrees to ask her mother for his father’s old Dodge Charger.

Michael meets with DeSantos, the man who is terrorizing Cara, but the situation escalates. A hit squad is on the way, but fortunately, Fiona is at Cara’s, and she gets rid of the men by lobbing a couple of Molotov cocktails at them.

Michael shelters Cara and Sophie in his mom’s garage, which he has cleverly turned into a safe house. Meanwhile, he talks to DeSantos’ lawyer, Bruce Gellman. This tactic does not work. Now, there’s a drug cartel-delivered death warrant out on Cara, Sophia, and anyone else who gets in the way.

Comments

Jeffrey Donovan looks a little like Jerry Seinfeld, and his voice has similarities, too. When he delivers lighthearted comedy lines, he sounds even more like him. It’s pleasant.

Burn Notice Quotes

Sam: Oh, c’mon, Mike! You got a sexy cocktail waitress that needs protecting and you send Fiona. What is she – 80 pounds? C’mon, Mike, look at this [flashes modest bicep] – guns of steel.
Michael: Well, I’ll tell you what – if there’s a situation that requires showing off your upper body and boozy flirting, you’re my guy.

Sam: How many were there?
Fiona: I don’t know, four. They took off after cocktail hour.

"Problem with the detonator? [holds up loose wires] I borrowed this when you went to take a leak."
- Michael to assassin